The Three “R’s” to Mommy Restoration

This is an original post written by contributing writer Martine De Luna.

If there is anything that seven months of motherhood has shown me, it’s that I have to ability to be extremely exhausted and exhaustive. Exhausted in that I am officially tired, and exhaustive in the sense that I am stretched beyond limits I never knew I had. Since becoming a mom, I have gotten used to nights when I don’t sleep at all, days when I forget to do the cooking, and countless times when I had lost the drive to step into the shower because I was too tired to drag my feet out of bed. There was a time when the full load of exclusive breastfeeding, hourly diaper changes, incessant crying episodes and unfinished chores finally got to me. And so, I put my foot down:

“Honey? We are going to the spa.”

At this point, it was around the fourth month of mommy-hood. My husband and I left the baby with my parents, and we headed over to the spa for an almost-half day pleasure indulgence. Just as we were just exiting the premises after our massage therapy session, my mobile began ringing.

It was my mom, and the baby needed me…

As moms, we have to sit back and remember that, in the grand scheme of things, our bodies and spirits matter greatly. How we treat these aspects can impact us significantly in our daily vocation as spouses, mothers, caregivers and all-around domestic goddesses.

I make it a point to weekly commit to the three “Rs” of mommy restoration. These three aspects recently helped me get back on the path to wellness, and I would be remiss if I did not share them.

1. Rest
During the first few months as a new mom, I hardly got any sleep. I am a resilient person though, not prone to illness, so getting sick was not my problem. In fact, I was healthy enough to deliver my baby naturally, with no drugs or anesthesia. However, lack of sleep and irregularities to my schedule took its toll on my body. I still wanted to practice attachment parenting, co-sleeping and all that, but I knew that by the third month of my son’s life, I needed to recharge.

And so, I asked my mom for help: Once a week, I leave Vito with her for a day while I catch up on sleep, rest and alone time. It’s as important for me to feel well-rested as it is to make sure I’m taking care of Vito, and my husband, too!

2. Rejuvenate
Over here in Asia, it’s a blessing that spas and relaxation treatments are the norm. I had regular pre-natal massages during my pregnancy, but once motherhood was in full-swing, I rather forgot about pampering myself. There was a point when my body ached so much, I felt like I could bore a hole through people’s faces every time they asked me how I felt. Finally during the fourth month of Vito’s life, I once again booked a visit to the spa and started back on the path to wellness and balance.

Nowadays, I try to schedule a spa visit at least once every two months or a body massage once a week if I can manage it. Also, I’ve gone back to the salon after almost eight months and got a new haircut, a texture treatment and a gloss of color. It feels good to pamper myself, especially since it’s been so easy to get caught up in the one-woman role of wife-mom-cook-cleaner-teacher-writer that I so often find myself in.

3. Reflect
This is, to me, the most important of the three “R’s.” This is because you can reflect any time of the day, in any situation and about anything. In my case, I find the opportunity to reflect on one of the touchstones of my relationship with God, which is at the top of my priorities, next to my relationship with my husband and my son. In my times of reflection, I make it a point to do three things:

1) Give thanks to my Creator;
2) Forgive myself for all the shortcomings and failures that have bogged me down;
3) Count my blessings and think of ways to bless others.

When I daily take time to reflect and meditate, I do not have time to take a whole hour to myself in a Zen-like ambiance. Rather, I reflect during the small pockets of time allowed to me when I am between chores and work commitments. Every window of free time can be a moment of divine appointment, so I use these to my advantage. On days when time is my luxury, I take an hour or so off to just meditate, pray and reflect.

It’s never the environment that matters in this area, it’s my state and presence of mind. I can be in my bedroom, on a freshly made bed, lying down and breathing in and out steadily; I can be walking through our village streets as I carry by baby in the sling; I can be cooking dinner while my husband plays with our son, and each moment can bring me to a metaphoric mirror of myself. When I reflect on everything that surrounds me and bustles around me as a spouse, mother and woman, I can be brought to a place of either selfishness or extreme gratitude. I choose the latter, simply because I have it so much better than most women out there.

The three R’s. To master them is to inculcate the art of being real. As mothers, let us take the time to practice them routinely, for in the mastery of these qualities, we will be all the better.

Martine is new to the ranks of that work-at-home mom. Though she is a former English teacher, editorial assistant and now a freelance writer, she admits that she is not a grammar geek though her work implies it. In a perfect world, she would live in a house with green gables, have a kitchen painted in Tiffany blue, and a freezer filled with a lifetime supply of Dreyer’s ice cream. In real life, she is content to practice attachment parenting with her hubby and their son, Vito Sebastian. She blogs on the domestic, the parental and the matrimonial over at The Dainty Mom.