running photoThis is an original post written by contributing writer Lisa Hanneman.

If you ask me what I miss most about my pre-mom life it wouldn’t be the nights out with friends, the lazy Sundays, the extra cash to splurge on dinners, or the alone time I used to have with my husband.  Sure, I miss all those things, but I miss something more.  I really miss running.  I miss being able to say I’m a runner and plan my day around getting in a run.   It’s that runner’s high that I miss the most, the feeling of finishing a really good run, the energy and buzz that I carry with me all day.

Since I had my son I’ve only run maybe ten times.  Pitiful, huh?  When I first got pregnant I tried to keep it up, but terrible round ligament pain made walking a block difficult enough.  Running was off the table.  After I had my son the thought of running was just exhausting.  Once his sleep schedule was more predictable and I was getting some rest the thought of jiggling along with this too soft body made me want to crawl into a hole, not run.  I’ve made up excuse after excuse.

It used to be easy.  I used to belong to the perfect gym that fit my needs.  I used to have the time in the morning to wake up and get in a run before heading to work.  I used to have the energy to update my I-Pod and search for new music.  Now I have an expensive jogger and an even more expensive treadmill in my basement collecting dust.  It’s as if they’re almost begging me to use them.  I can hear them calling my name, even.  But, I don’t use them, because I’m terrified of failure.  I’m terrified of struggling through three miles.  Hey, I could be struggling through one mile.  Running might be a solitary activity for me, so who would I be embarrassed in front of?  Myself?  Bingo!  Might sound like crazy talk, but for me letting myself down is worse than letting others down.  If I don’t live up to the expectations I have for myself, I’ve failed.

Here we are, nearly 21 months after my son was born and I’m finally feeling that longing to take a good run.  I know I need to do it for myself.  I’m positive it will make me a healthier, happier, and much more balanced mom and partner.  I know that the first runs will be tough.  I can’t expect to knock out five miles in 45 minutes like I used to, but maybe I’ll be doing that by the end of the summer.  I’ll start this weekend….  But, first, I’m going to need a new pair of shoes.

Lisa Hanneman Photo for Create A Balance(2)Lisa Hanneman strives for balance in a life overbooked by her husband, adorable toddler son, full-time job, friends, home projects, blogging, and busy social calendar.  Most weeks she manages to squeeze in a bikram yoga class with her best friend, but she only manages to get her hair cut once a year.  She dreams about volunteering, staying ahead of the laundry pile and dust bunnies, and a to-do list with only five items on it.  You can find her blogging about life as a rookie parent while laughing at herself on her personal blog, Hannemaniacs.

Image courtesy of Andy Newson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Comments
  • Lisa, I hope you will update us. It really sounds like you miss running. Somehow we seem to find the time to do the things we really want to – but only when the timing is right for us. Good for you for waiting for the transformation from a “should” to a “want to”. Best wishes.