This is a guest post by menopause extraordinaire Ellen Sarver Dolgen of Shmirshky.
What was Your New Year’s Resolution?
Researchers tell us that few such promises are kept, and most resolutions usually fail. Apparently, we lack the will power and self-discipline to make them last longer than a week.
Much like that time in the first few weeks of a new year, most women spend their teenage years and their 20’s going through a time of self-discovery. Ironically enough, when we enter perimenopause and menopause, that feeling comes back, and with a vengeance!
The Sumo Wrestler in My Head
So many times I felt alone during perimenopause and menopause (I call it PM&M)—except, of course, for the sumo wrestler in my head. He’s that big, scary guy in my mind, that tells me horrible things like, “You’re getting old and wrinkled”, “You’re not smart anymore” and “You’re already fat, so you might as well finish all that cookie dough and skip baking the cookies!”
I’ve spent far too much time in my life listening to my SUMO, and apparently so have many of my dear Shmirshky friends. Go figure!
During my own perimenopause & menopause journey, I was curious if everyone had a SUMO. Take my friend Patty, for example. She’s a stunning, sweet, ex-ballerina, retired entrepreneur, culinary master, multi-linguist, and voracious reader (it’s important to understand her extraordinary talents before you read on). Her answer sounded pretty familiar. “I was always a perfectionist and most of my life I felt confident that what I was doing was good. As fashion and appearance, and weight and leg length became bigger issues, my SUMO grew in power. As a dancer, my legs were too short and too big; at least, that’s what my SUMO told me. During perimenopause and menopause, my looks and behavior began to change and I grew less and less confident in myself. I became more susceptible to SUMO influence and much more insecure with everything I did or said”. Tread lightly, SUMO in session!
Is It Our Job to Feel Fat Our Entire Lives?
Have you ever looked at old pictures of you and your teenage girlfriends running around in bikinis and thought, “We were crazy to think we were fat!”? Most of us women act like it’s our job to feel fat our entire lives.
Ladies, you’re not alone!
Being aware of your SUMO is so helpful because he shows up a lot! Now, when my sumo jumps in my face and begins yelling at me, I try to minimize him, I make him smaller in my mind. Over time, he keeps shrinking.
I am Fabulous!
Take care of yourself, love yourself, and when you look in the mirror every day this year, and for the rest of your life, reconnect with the beautiful person that you are, and say, “I am fabulous!” If you don’t believe it the first time, say it again, “I am fabulous!”
Ellen Sarver Dolgen is the author of Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness, a light-hearted, informative, easy-to-read book on menopause, and creator of http://www.shmirshky.com, a resource treasure trove for women going through perimenopause and menopause.
