Being a Single-Tasking Expert

This is an original post written by contributing writer Martine.

Just yesterday, I found myself in a state of chaos. Aside from taking care of the baby, keeping house and making our meals, I had to juggle three work-related projects, all of which had deadlines. My head was literally aching from thinking too much, to the point that I finally shut down at midnight, resigned to the fact that I would never finish those projects at my ideal time.

I was contemplating my situation and found myself just plain tired. Whoever said that being a work-at-home mom is having the best of both worlds must be a reincarnation of a Nigella-Giada-Martha all in one. She just doesn’t exist. And frankly, I don’t think she should!

Today, I got my head back on straight, and my priorities straightened out. I realized that stressing over multi-tasking was costing me too much in terms of time, emotions and physical strength. I had to review the way I was doing things and start streamlining. I have to say, it was one of the most therapeutic things I’ve done this week (aside from the scheduled bi-annual closet purge I did yesterday as well!)

Mastering Single-Tasking

As moms, we pride ourselves in our ability to multi-task. Why not? We’re Wonder Woman each time we pull it off! Men are floored by our ability to juggle seven roles at once, each one urgent in their own right. However, I’m starting to see how too much multi-tasking can be toxic for us as wives and mothers. It has its place, but it also has its pit stops, its review periods, its time-outs.

By mastering “single-tasking” on occasion, we can regain our strength, take a step back and enjoy moments, slow down and breathe. We can drink in life’s little vignettes, things that bring purpose and meaning to our lives. There is a right time for single-tasking, and in my case, it was right after I reached a toxic level of work, homemaking and parenting.

Here’s how I single-tasked and got my sanity back:

1. Trash the to-do list. Make a new one. Sometimes I get enslaved to my to-do list. Today, I culled several things from my long to-do list for the week and made a new one with just five items.  These five items are doable for the day. I was able to check off all five items just before writing this entry, simply because I did each one purposefully, intentionally. I didn’t feel pressured by looking at my weekly to-do list, and that feeling was important in easing my stress level.

2. Break down the “multi-tasks.” I have to work on this because I am a chronic multi-tasker. For example, no watching TV while drying my hair, no reading a book while breastfeeding, no writing a report while shifting from cooking. My breaking down the things we’re so used to multi-task with, we give ourselves opportunities to put our whole hearts into a task. It can mean something as simple as turning down the music so you can have a focused conversation with your husband. Whatever you need to break down, make it doable, make it purposeful.

3. Have a once-a-week single-tasking day. Scary? Maybe. But a day focused on just tasks that you can really focus on single tasks will help you improve on those tasks. For example, make Fridays about making the best dinner you can. Do all your heavy cleaning tasks the day before, so that you only have light tasks to do on your single-tasking day. Then, focus on single tasks that you can fill that day with, such as “making an Asian dinner,” or “playing dress up with the kids,” or “date night with hubby.” Prepare for this day intentionally.

4. Schedule a time-out. If you need to be reminded to take a time-out so that you’ll have some time for yourself, put it on your daily to-do list. I put “blogging time” on my to-do list, during the baby’s nap time at around 4 PM. This gives me an uninterrupted window of time to read and catch up on the mommy blogs I follow. My other time-outs for the week range from a back massage to a 30-minute nap to a period for meditation. The point is to make that moment sacrosanct, make it yours.

I’m learning not to compromise those times I’m attempting to single-task. I’m getting there. Today, I really breastfed my child intently, looking into his eyes and talking to him as I used to do when days were less busy. I also made breakfast, lunch and dinner from scratch, and was commended for each meal by a very happy hubby. And yes, I was able to finish my work projects today, because I had a clearer mind and a more productive demeanor.

So, I suppose it’s worth it to set aside Wonder Woman for a moment in our busy schedules. I guess as a work-at-home mom, I truly do have the best of both worlds–I just have to stop and give myself the time to enjoy those “bests,” by single-tasking. After all, it’s not the multitude of tasks that make us great moms, but how we live that truly defines our motherhood.

Martine is new to the ranks of that work-at-home mom. In a perfect world, she would live in a house with green gables, have a kitchen painted in Tiffany blue, and a freezer filled with a lifetime supply of Dreyer’s ice cream. In real life, she is content to practice attachment parenting with her hubby and their son, Vito Sebastian. She blogs on the domestic, the parental and the matrimonial over at The Dainty Mom.